Indian Surrogacy Bill 2016: Bane or Boon?

Indian Surrogacy Bill 2016:  Bane or Boon?

 We were watching news on TV in Last week of August, 2016.

On August 24, 2016   the news in the air:

External Affairs Minister of India, Sushma Swaraj announced that the Surrogacy (Regulation) Bill 2016, is being cleared by the central cabinet and it will be introduced in the winter session of the Parliament. She further added that this is “revolutionary step” towards women’s welfare by banning commercial surrogacy. The proposed law seeks to protect women from exploitation and ensure rights of the child born through surrogacy.

According to Minister for External Affairs Sushma Swaraj, the need for the Surrogacy (Regulation) Bill, 2016, came after India emerged as a surrogacy hub for couples and the increased number of instances reported on unethical practices.

The Bill prohibits commercial surrogacy, which includes stopping foreigners from commissioning surrogacy in India, while making it illegal for single parents, gay couples and those in live-in relationships to opt for surrogacy.
The Bill is aimed at clearing the ambiguity surrounding surrogacy rules in India.

Once this news came in, news channels and social media sites were swamped with the discussion on Indian surrogacy (regulation) bill.  People were giving their comments, opinion on the posts, news shared on the Facebook, twitter etc.  I was thinking why is this issue has caught interests of so many?? Like any other it caught my interest too.

 I saw a post shared by my friend on the Facebook, which was as “Surrogacy (Regulation) Bill 2016- a step forward to promoting the adoption”. It was liked by many but one friend responded that “Adoption should not come as a second option”. Suddenly responses got changed right after this comment. I was amused to see the trend, behavior of people on social media sites. I started thinking that would I change my stand point after seeing the responses of my peers if the response of mine was different than them?

Various media persons, common person gave different terms such as “kiraye ki kokh” (womb on rent) child making factory etc. to Surrogacy/ Surrogate mothers.  Nobody referred to it with a decent words (not stigmatic one or sensational) as “Garbh dan” (donation of womb). Again that made me to think; Is making sensation out of people misery (in this case womb for rent by poor women) is the order of the day? Why media raises commotions on issues like this one and not offer a thorough analysis and solution.  Media does this because,  Is this a busy urban citizen needs to get a respite out of a busy day at work? Or is it how media do not engage people in an in-depth analysis but provide some gossip and some news to munch and bite !

While all these questions are going around in my mind, I came to know about the little story of “Anand”.  Anand (city in Gujarat, India) is known as the Milk Capital of India. It became famous for Amul dairy and its milk revolution. This city hosts the Head Office of Gujarat Cooperative Milk Marketing Federation Ltd (AMUL), National Dairy Development Board of India and this is the picture of the city, which is known by many of us. Another side of the city is:  Anand is also famous for Surrogate mothers, infertility clinics.  One of the famous Dr Nayna Patel is Medical Director of Akanksha Infertility Clinic at Anand Gujarat. Dr Patel informed in one of her interviews that her clinic has had ‘1001 babies’ born out of surrogacy. 

PM Narendra Modi spoke at a public rally about how Gujarat contributes 40 per cent to India’s surrogacy industry.  I am still not able to digest this fact that the land that gave Gandhi and Modi to this country, the place where white revolution (highest milk production) took place and pulled thousands of women out of poverty is now leading in the business of surrogacy industry! How to understand these developmental and value paradigms??

Being a mother of a single child, I became bit more interested in this complex web of surrogacy. A surrogate mother at an Infertility Clinic gets assured Rs in between 3 to 4 lakh rupees in 9-10 months per child and 25 percent extra, in case of twins. Most of these women who sign for this contract are young or middle age.  According to the reports these women come to Infertility Clinic on their own will to serve as a surrogate mother.  Once she becomes a Surrogate mother, the earned money is spent for her family, on education of children, treatment of her husband or to repair a house etc.

Dr.  Nayna Patel feels that poor women’s needs make a convincing reason for the government to reconsider the decision: “Surrogacy has helped many women to build a house and move towards a more financially secure future. I want to ask critics who oppose surrogacy on grounds of ‘exploitation’: what can you do for these women? Can you get them a house; education for their kids? If not, at least don’t deny them the means to do so.”

 I now understand that a surrogate mother who is impoverished needs money to run her family. Earlier or even now some of these women were pushed in to flesh trade (prostitution). Some of them were trafficked. Now many of them are attracted to fertility clinics.  World is changing but the foes of a women remains?? 

I further looked at the demand side of this surrogacy story:  Chris and Michele Newman from Epsom, Surrey spent the last four months in Mumbai to see the birth of their daughter, Lily. The couple claim to have applied for their newborn daughter’s passport on 3 June, 2016. However British consulate in Mumbai told them the application will not be processed until after their special Indian medical visas expire on 7 October, 2016 and that they should be prepared to leave their baby behind. The couple took pleaded help from the Indian Government  in a petition, Get Lily Louise Newman Home, posted on change.org.  After the British media highlighted the Newmans' plight, Sushma Swaraj defended India's Surrogacy (Regular) Bill, 2016 in a series of sharp tweets."...Will the advocates of commercial surrogacy suggest a solution and help this baby? Commercial surrogacy is banned in Britain... Will British government give a British passport to this surrogate baby? Should orphanage be the destiny of a surrogate baby?" the Minister asked.

But on a more humane note, Sushma Swaraj advised the Newmans to acquire a British passport for their child as "Orphanage is not an option for baby Lily". Although she is strongly advocating for Surrogacy (Regulation) Bill 2016,  she has  assured that the Indian Government would extend the visas of Chris Newman and his wife Michele, which are due to expire on October 7 as they ran from pillar to post for getting a passport for their daughter Lily. Will they be successful, only time will tell?

Indian Surrogacy Bill 2016:  Bane or Boon?  I am not sure yet. Being a  sensitive person and mother, I am struggling to take a stand point on this.

 

 

 

 

 

Marriage, Mother-in-law and Melodrama

Marriage, Mother-in-law and Melodrama

In India, in the majority of cases, after a couple ties the knot, the daughter-in-law moves into the husband’s house to live with his parents. All of sudden newlywed bride gets entangled in many new relationships at this new home. The concept of boundaries does exist in Indian families but it is never practices in reality. When you marry an Indian, you marry the whole family. The most difficult relationship is how to handle sometimes a demanding mother-in-law and other family members?

Riya is a happy going girl from Mumbai got married to a Punjabi guy from Patiala. She was working in the developmental sector, while beau  a medical professional. They were in a strong relationship for several years as they knew each other and decided to go for marriage. It was the most difficult decision for Riya’ s parents to send their daughter from a metro city to a small town but they have to accept it. After few small issues and pesky incidence finally, Riya got married. Riya was happy and started dreaming of her new life.

Finally, the day arrived and Riya with all her beautiful dreams landed in  her new home. She started mixing and interacting with all family members. She found her sister in law as a good friend, father in law was broad-minded and understanding by nature.  The problem arrived with mother in law (MIL).  She was a typical Indian mother-in-law (MIL) and a quite complicated person.

In most of the cases, mother-in law behaves like a strict ruler.  She will keep on releasing orders and daughter in law has to implement all those. Riya’s MIL also set few rules for her to get up early in the morning, take bath before preparing  breakfast for the whole family, do all household work, prepare lunch, dinner, distribute milk to everyone at the bedtime. These hard realities were not part of the dreams of Riya. She started following all the instructions of MIL as she does not want anyone finger out her parents and their rearing. MIL started making comments on cooking and other household work patiently carried out by Riya.  One day she told Riya “Shadi ke baad beta Ma ka nhi, Bibi ka ho jata hai” (After marriage son follows his wife not the mother). Riya did not replied but could read between the lines of her MIL and her agony.

Another shocking day for Riya was, when she was working on the computer and put on her spectacles. Her MIL asked Riya  “ Ghar se bahar jana to chashma mat pahnana, badnami hogi” (not to wear spectacles when you go out, it is shameful for us). Riya in the first place could not understand the link between wearing a chasma and ghar ki ijjat? It was something against her own wish and will and perhaps an issue of one’s own dignity. These comments ( not suggestions) from MIL started annoying Riya.

Riya just recollected  a lesson , which her mother taught that  building a relationship with MIL  is a PROCESS and you have  to be PATIENT. Your efforts will eventually pay off  because, in Indian families, respect is earned from the elders, not just simply given for free.  Riya’s mom also explained to her that MIL is most important in your marriage so sharing a tricky relationship with her can spell trouble for a peaceful marital life. You need to handle your MIL with extreme care, precaution and strategic planning. Riya understood the wise advise from her mother. 

Each relationship is been built over time. They don’t happen just like that. Hence relationships should have their limitation and boundaries, which need to be maintained. Now the question arises till when Riya need to do all this; few years OR throughout the life? Why always Riya has to listen and make adjustments and sacrifices? It is difficult to answer all these questions without getting in to feminist and Gender lens. We have thousands of Riyas  in the 21^st century of shining India who are struggling and strategizing their relationships not only with their life partners and  children but also with the husband’s family members and distant relatives. And most importantly with the in-laws and  especially the MIL  in their life for finding peaceful solutions so that families are well-preserved and cherished!

let us hope for the better future for many Riya who are not able to express their feelings but silently suffering in the name of family name, status, values and culture!

                                                                 ________________